It is very easy to have no influence on people and to have no friends. What did the famous Dale Carnegie advise us not to do? Here are the most common communication sins, selected by the inc.com website.
Unsuccessful leaders – poor communicators
They push their friends away and hardly ever talk to anyone around them. Often, they are too selfish to bother with other people. As a result of caring only about their success, they live in a bubble of seclusion. It may be the case that they are secretive and don’t have enough confidence. They are not liked by many, because the people who are popular talk and share their ideas with others. This is why people who are not skilled communicators are not often asked for their opinions.
These people tend to be critical – they never begin a meeting by being humble. The first thing you will hear from them (after they say hello) are complaints: about a project, a proposal or even their co-workers. They don’t realize that these attacks make people defensive and undermine their relationships with others.
When teamwork is not possible
Another flaw in their communication is that their ability to empathize with other people is limited. They perceive only what is directly connected to them – their paychecks, their rewards and success. This is a direct contrast with one of Carnegie's cleverest insights: it is much easier and more honest to win others over by seeing things from their perspective. It enables you to adjust your proposals in order to make them more appealing and agreeable.
Unsuccessful leaders use aggressive tactics to get what they want. They expect everyone to comply and therefore are rarely able to take advantage of genuine teamwork. Because they are unable to align their personal goals with their company's or their team's, they are never successful. Successful leaders need a team that helps them.
-jk-