How to improve your self-confidence even if you have failed

Sometimes even years of planning and hard work are not enough to protect you from failure. Astronomer Erika Hamden, a professor of astrophysics at the University of Arizona, together with a team of scientists, spent 10 years building the FIREBall telescope to observe clouds of hydrogen gas in the stratosphere. But when it was launched in September 2018, there was a problem ...

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It emerged that the balloon which the telescope was supposed to take into the air had a hole and thus made an emergency landing in the desert of New Mexico. In an instant, the team saw all its work collapse. However, thanks to this fateful moment, Hamden later discovered concrete steps could be taken to re-boost confidence and move towards success. She shared her ideas at the TEDWomen2020 workshop.

Hamden suggests using guidance from a scientific method that considers failure a necessary step in making progress. In her view, discovery is usually a process of finding things that do not work, and failures are inevitable if you want to push the boundaries of knowledge.

Here are some recommendations that you can use in your own professional and personal life.

Have a to-do list

In order to gain confidence in big goals, you must first focus on them. Work with your daily to-do list and force yourself to do the things you least want to do. According to Hamden, these are often tasks that evoke in you a deep inner fear of being unable to handle them. If, however, you complete them, you will have overcome something that has so far been terrifying you. Continue this process every day.

If you notice you are avoiding something, ask yourself what you are afraid of and consider what would happen if you failed. Of course, you would be disappointed, but what would be the real "costs"?

Separate personal worth from your work

Whenever you fail, one reaction is an automatic association of the failure with your own personality and value. As a result, you will not only feel miserable but also deprive yourself of valuable feedback that can help you move forward.

In the weeks following the unsuccessful start of FIREBall, Hamden took time off and made sure not to dwell on any of her feelings or convert the defeat into a reference to herself. Hamden suggests it is very important to avoid feelings of guilt or shame. Feeling guilty about something is one way to ensure we will never be able to do it.

Create a mutual support group

Creating your own support group will help you overcome moments of self-doubt or failure. If you feel you do not have people around you who would be able or willing to listen, you need to cultivate such relationships. In order to do so, Hamden advocates open conversations in which you share your feelings and concerns and clearly state what you need.

Remember: no one cares about your failures as much as you yourself

For better or worse, everyone is the hero of their own story, says Hamden. People don't pay as much attention to your personal failures as you think. On the other hand, in a professional environment where others examine your performance, you can learn from their reactions.

Beware of burnout syndrome

When working on another challenging project, set strict limits and limits on the time you spent on it. The more you invest, the more you can boost your confidence but, without breaks, you might easily burn out . Tasks are full of marathons and sprints; Hamden recommends taking time to celebrate the sprints as soon as they are finished.

Believe in the possibility of future success

The level of effort you put into something can be related to how you feel about failure: the bigger it is, the more disappointment you will feel if something goes wrong. However, if you can separate the two factors, you will most likely be amazed by your own resilience. More than two years after the FIREBall mission, Hamden gained a new perspective: "If I've gone through this project and mission, I can go through anything." Now she and her colleagues are preparing another launch in 2021. No matter what happens, she says, sometimes overcoming failure is as easy as just looking up and believing something new is possible.

 

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