Coaching can’t be forced

Coaching conversations happen because the coach and coachee are mentally and emotionally prepared to interact. The coach needs to maintain the tension between his or her active involvement and curious detachment.

Coaches can learn how to ask the right questions and how to shut up long enough for the coachee to start having their own thoughts, but that isn’t enough for coaching to happen.

Coaches should feel alert, awake, and be fascinated by what they're doing. They should be fascinated by the person who is emerging as the conversation goes on.

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There are new perspectives and ideas emerging in the coachee's head. Therefore, anything they find should be acceptable to the coach. There has to be the intimacy which is required for this transformation. Real coaching conversations can't be forced.

What great coaching looks like

Every conversation should start with a suggested topic. The coach uses a voice and tone appropriate to invite, assure and demand attention.

The coachee’s voice may be uncertain at first, because they may be seeking approval. Then comes the relentless and genuine curiosity and acceptance of the coach, which invites the coachee to talk and express themselves freely.

Great coaching can really affect you. The coach's communication and body language is open, to illustrate that possibilities are open. The coach is accepting of whatever happens or is said. That signals that there is no need or opportunity for self-censorship.

When the coaching is great, the coachee feels that direct expression is the easiest thing in the world for them. When a great coach is coaching somebody, it can and should be an amazing thing to observe. The coach controls the situation, but there is no coercion or direction. The coach is at ease for a while and a few moments later they are focused very sharply on the coachee, according to an article on the website of Center for Creative Leadership.

Coaches work with coachees to explore and pursue each theme or topic. At the end of the conversation, there usually is a resolution and preparation for action follows.

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Article source CCL Blog - official blog of the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL®)
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