Violence at work. What do you imagine this term to mean? I am sure your first thought was about physical injury. It is not so bad, however... Imagine the situation in the workplace when you come into the kitchen for a coffee and the others there suddenly stop their conversation and look at you. How do you feel? For some, and not only few, words can be equally, if not more, harmful. Conscious or unconscious, rumours and gossip are unfortunately part of company culture, and what is more, it is worse to get rid of them. But why? The Management Issues website has thought about it.
Gossip as a defence
Gossip arises as a defence mechanism to deflect attention from ourselves, our vulnerabilities and shortcomings. By focusing on someone else, we do not have to express our own feelings, uncertainties and being open to others. It is a mask, but a fake one. Nobody wants such kinds of hypocrisy at work, right?
The second effect arises as the result of rumours. In an environment where people slander each other it is very hard to work, and thus overall performance may soon stagnate too. Instead of concentrating fully on the job, some employees face imbalance and distractions, make even more mistakes and are not confident. Here we have two insecure people on both sides disturbing the company atmosphere.
Make the “short” process with gossips
Rumours are usually based on fear, and it can be hard to get rid of easily and with emphatic agreement. Even a person who makes a commitment not to engage in gossip, may face the fear of what happens when he leaves the "safe zone". What I will do instead of what I'm doing now? Will I still belong to "our group"? Will anyone still have lunch with me if I do not want to participate in this discussion? These all are ideas that your employees have on their minds that make them think twice if they would rather not keep up with the others to avoid their criticism.
Stopping gossiping is not a simple mental or intellectual choice. Sincere and genuine behavior comes from a deep inner sense of integrity and desire to do no harm to others. It might sound like the introduction to a philosophy lesson, but there is not a different way of awakening and changing behavior in this case. Preaching or other forms of outside intervention simply do not work permanently. It is an addiction, and it is difficult to give up without inner conviction. What can be done?
Try asking yourself (or others) a few self-reflective questions that will force you to think about it:
1. Why do I engage in rumours or support others doing it?
2. How is gossip useful to me?
3. Is there another way to achieve the same result, but without hurting someone else?
4. Does it align with my personal values and respect for others?
5. Can I say the same to the person directly? If so, why do I participate in gossip?
6. Would I want to let my opinions about others to be quoted on television or in the company newsletter?
7 Would I want to engage in gossiping about person who is close to me?
8. Do I express authenticity and integrity with these rumours?
9. Do I feel that what I am doing is correct and ethical?
10. What have been my experiences with rumours so far?
If your corporate culture suffers from gossiping or if you suspect that your company atmosphere will soon become toxic because of it, do not try to persuade employees individually. Rather, try applying the findings above in a group workshop. Create a casual atmosphere and talk openly with others in the group.
Do you observe some these behavioural patterns in your team, or do you just have sincere and friendly colleagues?
-bn-