Just as our parents drilled into us from childhood, likewise with employees it is better first to think before speaking. Your originally well-intentioned messages sometimes fall on deaf ears. The Open Forum website lists nine items that you as leaders should avoid in front of your staff:
"I hope you can cope with this project."
Avoid words that indicate doubt. Give employees "hope" that they can handle the assigned task without worrying about your doubts. Instead try saying: "I believe in you and I know you won't disappoint me."
"You will probably not find a better job in this company."
Informing someone they have no future in the company is one of the cruellest ways of telling the truth. You need to be honest but nice at the same time in order not to cause your employee to break down as a result of the communication.
"I do not pay you to ..."
"Because I say so." "I am the one in charge here.“ Do not show your employees your own superiority. Whether directly or only via hints, reminding them you are the very person who can decide whether they remain with the company is a sure way to demoralise them.
"Your desk is not very tidy."
Feedback is important for employees. Make sure, however, that any criticism is not gratuitous and thereby demoralising. If you chide employees for example because of desktop clutter, you only express a personal preference: a tidy desk in itself will not significantly help the efficiency of your business.
"I will speak at that meeting."
If it is important that you be the one to lead the negotiations and your subordinate will do the next part of the meeting, then it is okay. If, however, you do not give them a chance to contribute, they will feel undervalued.
"What is the matter with you?"
"Is that everything you learned in the MBA programme?" "How many times do I have to repeat it?" Politeness in a stressful environment is often disrupted. Your frustration with a new trainee employee may become overwhelming, so beware of this.
"Peter is doing a better job."
Avoid comparisons with other employees. Benchmarking is good but in this way it only causes negative emotions in your employees.
"I would not see it so hopefully."
Keep people's hopes alive. Do not indicate that doors are closed to them and you feel their skills are not enough for their given activity or position.
"I hear only complaints about you."
Our brain has a tendency to generalise a number of things. Be aware that one or two complaints do not yet mean everyone is complaining only about one particular person or does not want to work with them. If you respond to a complaint about an employee, you owe them a specific explanation.
-bn-