Mentoring at the workplace no longer means only supervisors giving advice to subordinates. There are many situations, including formally organised programmes, that go beyond this traditional model. These situations put more pressure on mentors and also increase the anxiety of mentees. Reverse mentoring, when the mentor is a subordinate or junior employee, may serve as an example.
"Mentoring the boss can carry an unfortunate byproduct. The protégé can bear the brunt of resentment if seen as the 'teacher’s pet'. Perceived favoritism can play havoc with an employee’s position in a peer group," says Marshall Goldsmith, world-renowned coach of senior managers, speaker and author of popular books on personal development, in a recent article on talentmgt.com. According to Goldsmith, mentoring in these tricky situations requires an approach combining respect and humanity.
How to win trust as a mentor
When a boss is the mentor, subordinates tend naturally to listen; however, for a mentor from among colleagues or subordinates, the situation is quite different. Prepare for distrust and resentment but, at the same time, remember that the position of a mentor does not make you superior to your mentees. If you start by trying to impress your mentees with how great you are, you will only lose their trust.
Initial resistance can be overcome by listening. Ask questions and let your mentee speak. Try a simple exercise: score a point for each question you ask and lose one for every statement. Every time you speak about your own experience or interests, deduct five points. The aim is, of course, to gain as many points as possible.
Accept resistance as a reality and use it as an opportunity to learn something new. Show that you also will learn in the process of mentoring and your mentees will accept you more easily. Try to find something your mentees know that you would like to learn from them. Base your mentoring on mutual learning.
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