Deborah Bright, who was one of the top US female divers during her college studies, published the rules of criticism on the Harvard Business Review website. After finishing her professional sporting career, she founded her own training company. She applies her experience from the world of sport in business coaching.
1. Connect criticism with solutions
Example from sport: "You had better straighten your right leg."
Criticize as specifically as possible to make it clear what exactly you think should be done differently and better. Instead of explaining what the person should do, however, ask how he or she thinks the problem should be solved. Allow the person on the receiving end to suggest solutions, or at least some parts of the overall solutions.
2. Speak about something that's important to them
Example from sport: "Do you think you can get to the Olympics this way?"
Criticism should also be combined with something that you know is very important for the person. For example, it may be crucial for somebody to be respected by colleagues. However, when they're repeatedly late for meetings, ask him or her what impact they think this behaviour might have on their colleague's respect for them. Once criticism is associated with something we care about, we take it more seriously.
3. Keep the tone of your voice and body language neutral
Some coaches significantly increase the volume and wildly gesticulate to show athletes that they can be better. The same often appears in the communication between managers and their subordinates. Criticism is, however, much more effective when you speak quietly.
4. Respect personal preferences
Each athlete or employee may prefer a different way of receiving feedback. The only way for you to learn their preferences is to ask your people and then proceed accordingly.
Some people want to hear criticism immediately, and others after some time, such as a full day or even a longer period of time. Some people prefer personal interviews, and others email. Some people feel better when hearing your negative feedback outside the company.
Respect all this and people will listen.
-kk-