An article on the psychologytoday.com website provides additional insights into what, according to social psychology, we can do to regain perspective during a conflict. Learn these techniques and use them in your next argument when you feel your anger rising.
Imagine you are a fly on the wall
You need to break free from the details of the conflict. For a moment, try to forget the big picture and imagine being a fly on the wall, a neutral third party, which wants the best for both sides. What would a such a disinterested observer make of your disagreement?
This will enable you to take a step back and remember the source of this conflict, as well as what you want to achieve. Once you have achieved a sense of distance, recall the bigger picture again and aim for a resolution to the situation. When you are in the middle of a fight, this is difficult. Try to reflect back on any prior conflicts to learn gradually how to use this technique.
Empathy is a strong tool
Whenever you disagree with your partner, try to put yourself in their shoes. For a while don’t obsess over presenting only your own point of view. It is again about gaining another perspective – in this case that of your partner. Stepping aside from an egoistic standpoint should help you appreciate where your partner is coming from.
- Rephrase what your partner is saying.
- Allow them to correct what you got wrong.
- Ask why they feel the way they do (and imagine how you would feel under those circumstances).
-jk-