5 tips on how to deal with conflict situations in a friendly way

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Do you value friendly relations with your colleagues? Would you rather avoid conflict and stand aside rather than taking part in an unpleasant situation?  What if you were the cause of dysfunctional relationships in the workplace? Using the Business Matters website, we have prepared some tips on how to effectively deal with conflict with your colleagues.

1. Use "and" instead of "but" when you oppose someone. Do not try to trump your colleague’s opinion with your own vision of reality. The use of "but" will startle the person talking and generate a natural defence response, causing him to keep to his position. Instead of immediately opposing and searching for objections, search for another point of view. Then try to find a comprise  with your colleague. For example: "You are saying that we should reserve some of the budget for organizing an event for the client and (but) I think we should use this money for staff training." Do you see the difference?

2. Feel the power of imagination. If someone disagrees with you, do not contradict him. Rather encourage him (and yourself) to think hypothetically about the opinion. Imagination is the opposite of disapproval. If someone does not agree with your idea, ask him to imagine his own scenario this will also help you understand it.

3. Use open-ended questions to determine the impact of the possible solution that your colleague proposes. Try a similar example: "Well, now if we are actually go with the possibility of introducing bonuses to the new clients who close an order, will our existing clients not get angry?" By asking sincerely without anticipating the result, you are giving your colleague enough space to consider their position while putting on a friendly face to the question.

4. Understand the roots of discord. Many conflicts get out of control because the parties involved do it have the same attitude or want to compromise. If you are in a similar situation, rather try to unravel the reasons of the dispute than wasting energy  maintaining your positions. If everyone understands the importance of the problem, then they also have the same starting point. What is the fundamental problem of the disagreement?

5. Ask for help. Asking for help is another tactic of friendly negotiation. E.g., if you feel that your colleague is speaking nonsense and his conclusions are totally incorrect, it would be rude and counterproductive to tell him directly. Try this instead: "I guess I did not understand it correctly. Can you clarify... one more time?" If your colleague then fails to clearly explain his idea, his conclusions may not have a solid basis.

Resolving conflicts in the elegant ways we indicated above, has nothing to do with giving in, being complaisant, or avoiding disagreements. Your task now is to resolve conflicts directly, but with a friendly face.

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Article source Business Matters - website of a leading British magazine for small and medium sized companies
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